RIP my namesake, the prominent orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Urbaniak, whom I've been aware of ever since the advent of search engines

an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride

self portrait on cement , circa today

People who say “I’ve had it up to here with you” I noticed there’s still space for more.

This is the high-tech equivalent of shooting saguaros to watch them fall. May Musk share the fate of David Grundman.

Ben K.@benjaminkabak.com · 3d ago

This is going to be a slow burn story that gets people more and more angry the more they hear about it. Some asshole billionaires are blowing holes in the Moon, a thing everyone loves.

This is going to be a slow burn story that gets people more and more angry the more they hear about it. Some asshole billionaires are blowing holes in the Moon, a thing everyone loves.

boy you must be my psychiatric meds because I want you inside of me

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 7d ago

post your worst draft

one of the things I miss most about living with someone is asking them to bring me something from the other room

meeting someone new

This is who runs this account:

Raccoon Hangover

Alt: A raccoon in a dumpster.

static.klipy.com

Dr011m011usc@jradd7.bsky.social · 6d ago

This is who runs this account

This is who runs this account:

Kat Alderson 🙃@klaybourne.bsky.social · 6d ago

This is who runs this account:

memories are not real but typos are

🎶Move, Mitch Get out the bed Get out the bed, Mitch Get out the bed

I'm still bitter that Uncle Albert never actually accepted that apology.

"First prize is this here gold ounce. Want to see second prize? (He pulls up his pant leg, revealing his stump.) Second prize is he eats yer fucking leg. Third prize is you drown."

GlenMoby Glen Dick

“AHAB: First prize is this here gold ounce. Want to see second prize? (He pulls up his pant leg, revealing his stump.) Second prize is he eats yer fucking le...

buff.ly

McConnellsburg, legendary city of undead senators.

in britain pizzazz is spelled pissass

Singing “Happy Birthday” to A Horse with No Name and watching the realization on everyone’s faces as we get closer to the end of of the song

I like airbenders who come in first

I am no longer a young dude, therefore, my contractural obligation to carry the news has hereby ended

AMERICAN TIME-LOOP PROTAGONIST: I’ll steal all the money and seduce everyone until I learn to be less selfish DANISH TIME-LOOP PROTAGONIST: I am a monster, a thief, a devourer, utterly alone

Wish I loved anything as much as Nespresso loves my e-mail.

That feeling just before they call shirts or skins and you’re wearing a wire for Brad’s mom

My place isn't wired for an inner light fixture.

I'd buy many more essential oils if they could holistically get rid of the body in my basement.

You would like that piercer, I say to my husband, she says she doesn’t do those kinds of piercings

When llamas are pregnant do they go to llamaze class?

why are harbingers always of doom why can’t we have harbingers of cake?

How many clicks does it take to get to the center of the internet?