Saw a Subaru with the bumper stickers "I'm not like other girls, I am an actual worm" and "All men are cremated equal" and I have never longed so hard to be friends with a stranger

You ever see something and get unreasonably upset?

My AI girlfriend just told me she thinks we should see other bots.

So, as of June, it is very literally illegal in NC to teach, among other things, that "The rule of law does not exist but instead is a series of power relationships & struggles…" Like… a lot of "anti DEI" shit is silly, but this literally outlaws large swathes of sociology & political philosophy…

Todd Blanche oversaw the pardons of the violent J6 attackers who wounded scores of police officers, including many who were sent to the hospital. People he put back on the street have already engaged in violent and disgusting crimes.

motivation is easy you either keep moving or process The Horrors

My "Popular with Friends" feed hasn't updated in 15 hours so I guess all my friends are dead.

Nothing you do in your entire life will ever be this embarrassing

Lauren McKenzie@themckenziest.gay · 2mo ago

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

this is the worst thing i've ever seen and i watch beginner longform improv

I just had someone randomly walk in for an impromptu tour of my business wearing Meta glasses and she acted surprised and a bit offended when I asked her not to film me and all my members without our consent and I gave her a quick tour but it felt weird but this is how I become a meme isn't it?

"Dress for the job you want "

WIRED@wired.com · 2mo ago

Joi AI hired 10 people to masturbate using AI companions as part of a monthlong “wellness” study. The company claims the practice could help “solve male loneliness.” www.wired.com/story/these-...

This August, don't forget to mark your calendars! 12th - Total Eclipse 13th - Meteor Shower 14th - Audrey II

during a video call with an obviously distracted coworker, she eventually said “i’m sorry, can you give me a minute? i have an orange cat.” and since i’ve had them for many years, i completely understood.

Sarah Andersen@sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 3mo ago

I'm begging you not to use apple products. This shit is devastating to creators like me

Any of you using the ios version of Patreon to support me, switch to the browser version instead, cuz the apple fees have actually taken over 3000 usd from me in the course of a year

doctober@docseuss.bsky.social · 9mo ago

I'm begging you not to use apple products. This shit is devastating to creators like me

Apple charges people ~20% more than the Patreon list price and they keep the difference for themselves. They also hold the proceeds of iOS app sales for 75 days, making it impossible for creators to accurately predict earnings. They basically inserted themselves in order to rip *more* people off

Part Time Yeen@parttimeyeen.bsky.social · 9mo ago

Any of you using the ios version of Patreon to support me, switch to the browser version instead, cuz the apple fees have actually taken over 3000 usd from me in the course of a year

I played a song because I was thinking about someone the song makes me think of, and now it’s a whole thing.

This day in history. 1980. At an Eagles concert in Long Beach Glenn Frey and Dan Felder argued furiously with Frey announcing after each song how many songs remained before he would kick Felder's ass. After the final song Felder smashed a guitar, climbed into a limo, and took a 14 year break.

My place isn't wired for an inner light fixture.

AMERICAN TIME-LOOP PROTAGONIST: I’ll steal all the money and seduce everyone until I learn to be less selfish DANISH TIME-LOOP PROTAGONIST: I am a monster, a thief, a devourer, utterly alone

Leaving eczema on my hands untreated so people think I'm calloused and rugged.

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 2mo ago

post your worst draft

I am no longer a young dude, therefore, my contractural obligation to carry the news has hereby ended

This day in history. 1958. International Friendship Day began in Paraguay and spread like a bad habit. The appointment by the United Nations of Winnie the Pooh as the world's Ambassador of Friendship is just one of the abominations with which it is associated.

Wallowing until further notice.

let's dilute the fuckery for a while and see how we go

Many Amish families still churn their own toothpaste.

I can’t even hold my head up straight without my neck seizing up and you want me to do what?

my body watching me water my plants

Too tall: "How's the weather up there?" Too short: "How's the weather down there?" Average height: "Weather patterns are imperceptible to you"