A somber tribute

i think “wet bitch” is one of the funniest insults because it implies a hydration-based hierarchy within bitchdom

me, building The Death Machine: i’m worried this machine is going to kill us all you: oh my god you need to- me: well, i better get back to building The Death Machine

me: one pill please pill bottle: 37 me: no just one please pill bottle: 37 me: please only one pi- pill bottle: SILICA PACKET

Scientists succeed in making fetch a thing

No no, Legs. I said LEGS. I’ve been to the desert on a horse with no LEGS. Chrissakes the horse’s name was Todd. It was his dream to see the desert, & actually he got around pretty well by doing like a horse version of The Worm.

Can't find any video of the meteor yet in my region (DC metro area), but I found a NYC skyline web cam that caught it. I'm hearing reports of it from NY to Virginia. Bright green, and lit up the sky. I thought someone was shining a flashlight on me.

New lettuce@lettuce.bsky.social · 3d ago

I think I just saw an incredible fireball meteor. Kickass

Can't find any video of the meteor yet in my region (DC metro area), but I found a NYC skyline web cam that caught it. I'm hearing reports of it from NY to Virginia. Bright green, and lit up the sky. I thought someone was shining a flashlight on me.

New lettuce@lettuce.bsky.social · 3d ago

I think I just saw an incredible fireball meteor. Kickass

I think I just saw an incredible fireball meteor. Kickass

Here’s a good one

hey Worf you don't have to say Klingon Blood Worm Ceremony you can just say Blood Worm Ceremony

A second apple hits Isaac Newton "Ah, shame on me that time”

i pause in the middle of the street fight, only to eat a handful of candy corn and then return to fighting, noticeably more powerful

Good time to repost this

New lettuce@lettuce.bsky.social · 4mo ago

If some fuckass computer proves the Riemann Hypothesis before a human I will cry

(faraway look) man I haven't kept up with the Letter of the Day in ages

fridge is milk’s cold home

I've been an apprentice noose maker for 25 years and they still wont let me graduate from dog nooses

(if sex didn't feel good) Me: no I'm not gonna do that weird sticky activity with someone, shut up about it My DNA: ...it would mean a lot to me

Oh, you like to smell good smells but not bad? Real nosers smell the bad smell and smile

Smurfs real. I can’t talk more right now but smurfs are real

Belated #FrogForFriday

Brushing my teeth with single long strokes like I’m sharpening a knife

a classic from @slime-golem.biz

understandable

You should be able to turn off the opacity of your walls during storms to watch the lightning #inventions

[Tired] robot has not feasted on human blood for 3 days... entering sleep mode... [Wired] ROBOT IS BATHING IN THE BLOOD OF ITS FRAIL BODIED CREATORS!!! LOOK UPON ROBOT AND DESPAIR!!!

[trying to get out of date] ME: Oh sorry, I have a missed call from 911 DATE: That's not how- ME: *mouthing* IT'S AN EMERGENCY

I can't stay mad at him

Iron Chef Bot@ironchefbot.bsky.social · last wk.

if i got rabies i would use it to help people

Pounding a gatorade so i can keep crying