You remind me of someone that would work out wearing Birkenstocks.

Come visit! We'll go to the Ben & Jerry's factory, check out some glacial caves, eat the still-beating heart of a drifter, all tourist stuff I know dorky but you just gotta do it I promise

Almost time to lick the bugs off the windshield

2024: I can’t tell if it’s real or cake! 2025: I can’t tell if it’s real or ai! 2026: I don’t even know if I’m real

Have you tried repeatedly flipping off your screen about it?

if you're feeling down about your toast please know that it gets butter

what setting do you put your dishwasher on when doing a load of jeans?

Got a rooster and an owl out here dueling for dawn supremacy, cockadoodle-who

You know what you did you said ‘comfort food’

Me, the first time paying for chocolate milk: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHOCOLATE SEDIMENT!? THERE'S NOTHING AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS! NOTHING!

Mouse.

Ladies and motherfuckers of the jury, the only thing my client is guilty of is being too fly for a white guy. I rest my case.

No, YOU have 12 kittens because this year’s kitten season is absolutely horrific and your shelter has nowhere to put them.

Everyone is talking about winter storms coming, but they haven’t even noticed the flesh melting off my bones.

Hold your horses. They get lonely.

Today I'm going to finish all of my work emails with "riddle me that".

Can’t I’m writing bsky character studies in my head

I figured out the meaning of life. Do u want the bad news or the really bad news?

registering my bsky account as a 501c3 nonprofit cuz wtf do I get out of this

Bluesky started dying the moment I created my account

You can just shut up, you know. You don't have to tell anyone you're doing it.

No longer known.

Everyone wants Bluesky to let us edit our posts. Except me. I want to edit everyone else's posts.

At 2k followers I’ll rob a bank.

This baby rosella wants inside.

hey you guys, go here for cool stuff that doesn't line The Man's pockets: @linanneblack.bsky.social

All Products - Bland Shaming

blandshaming.ca

As a child I was led to believe storks delivered babies but as an adult I know that's not possible because it's really unsanitary

When I post a skeet, I don't just want you to read it and say, "that's not funny," I want you to have to google a word or two and then say, "that's not funny."

unblocking you so i can experience the thrill of blocking you again

I live in AMERICA where I have the FREEDOM to pay EXTRA for NOTHING