#Poetry #Painting #Morning It is morning, and again I am the lucky person to be in it -Mary Oliver 🎨 Kaoru Yamada

All I'm saying is there are no donut parasites

“Are you okay, ma’am?” “I think I swallowed my router.” “Here, take my seat.”

And now, a little Vivaldi. Michel Tirabosco, a renowned pan flute player, collaborating with Raphaël Froissart. He is a professor at the Geneva Conservatory. Born with physical differences, he began playing the pan flute at 7 and has achieved international recognition for his skill. #streetmusic

A watercolor that I made #art #watercolor #painting #illustration

My throat feels like I have swallowed a bag of knives (because I have swallowed a bag of knives). Perfect light summer meal.

First time Dogs wear boots is funny 🤣 pet boots are good for paw protection on hot cement or snow/ice. It takes a little while but they get used to them.

Dueling pharmacists choose pestles at dawn

Dr. Emily Arndt 🏳️‍⚧️@brachinus.bsky.social · 2d ago

Dueling gods choose pestilence at dawn

One time uncle Moizel floated down the LA River all the way to Long Beach on a raft made of used flip flops.

Apparently, on Christian album covers in the ’60s, the only thing worse than the hair was the obliviousness to the lewd double entendres.

When the clock struck midnight, she fled down the palace steps, leaving behind only one black sock and camo color Croc.

The kidnappers' instructions were so complicated I finally just gave up.

one of the things I miss most about living with someone is asking them to bring me something from the other room

Drugs. Alcohol. Cult membership. We cope with the truth about Santa Claus in different ways.

Thanks for the delivery InstaCart but I just wanted groceries, not a relationship, so stop texting me.

Increased our house’s curb appeal when my wife kicked me to it.

Dad’s benign neglect made him our favorite.

It’s hard to explain but tv was better when you couldn’t watch the show you wanted whenever you wanted to watch it and most of the shows were worse and the TVs were worse and the entire experience was worse, that’s when it was better

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on my front porch to show them what I'm capable of.

Gustav Klimt (1862-1918) Kirche in Cassone (Church in Cassone) 1913. Oil on canvas.

[applying for astronaut job] Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest fear? Me: The vast endlessness of space. Interviewer: Me: Interviewer: Me: And heights.

Perimeters, not parameters. An excursion, not an incursion. Six genders, not cisgender. Insane asylums, not asylum. Transgender mice, not transgenic mice. The IQ of a potato.

Welcome to middle age. You now have a special space between your teeth that can fit an entire meal

at my sexiest when struggling to understand social cues

I always keep a spare bread crumb in my wallet in case I meet an ant

I don’t like country music, but I don’t denigrate those who do. And for those who like country music, denigrate means 'put down' 🐢💨

The name of this playlist is hilarious 😂😂😂 the songs are 🔥🔥🔥🔥

My free gavotte dance lessons at the senior center are a hit. I make out on the backend selling powdered wigs, snuffboxes, and Aspercreme.

I enjoy hating things, but this is ridiculous.

*jumps for joy* *joy just out of reach*