Somebody whistles in the night. I've just eaten saltines following a trail of crumbs so fate forbids me to answer you but I'm actually working on an unrequited mouth love bit and this is good this is real good

it’s shift change at the bitch factory but don’t worry i’m pulling a double

You can be anything you want to be, so be annoying.

saying please and thank you like the rebel I am

No idea when I’ll get to use this, but know that I’ve got it locked and loaded

just because i visit you at odd hours, make strange sounds and knock things off the kitchen shelves doesn't mean i want to talk... [the kind of thing a ghost would say when she doesn't know she's a ghost]

The wind the same color as the sky when it doesn’t try.

Putting a rotisserie chicken on a remote control car and driving it all over Costco.

Two words: lentils.

one does not simply unhear a mosquito in the dark

self portrait on cement , circa today

Stand in front of an open door like the world is a refrigerator and you’re trying to remember what you were going to get.

The energy I bring Bluesky

an endearing character trait of mine is distraughtness

Chaotic Good for the win, please

Consider yourself thwarted. (Now you can enjoy your day.)

have you taken your meds have you yelled fuck at least 10x have you made a totem to appease the elder gods

give a man a fish and he'll probably eat it i don't know what else he would do it's one fish bro let it go

Stress test express.

Tim: what should we name our company Ken: how about KENTIM Tim: wait no I have a better idea

No cheating post your lock screen

Cosmic Clau@cosmicclau.bsky.social · yesterday

No cheating post your lock screen

Too late for details. Too early for optimism. Good night, outlines. Good day, mediocrity.

All I'm saying is there are no donut parasites

there I was eating the spring roll, and that's when I realized- oh no, the mint, is it like lettuce? is this going to kill me? did I make it through everything to die of this delicious bite? so anyway I dipped it in the peanut sauce and took another bite

If you're going to be loud, you owe it to the community to be interesting.

Last night my neighbor saw me plunging my hand into the soil, grabbing a fistful of worms then raising them triumphantly above my head as I laughed and lightning crashed around me. Going to be difficult to explain that one.

No, thank you.

a tray of lasagna can be an apéritif nothing matters anymore