suggested slogans for annoyingly popular but inherently terrible bits of software, number #1 in what promises to be a very long series: "Adobe Acrobat: why don't YOU go fuck yourself?"

Harrison Ford, the actor behind loveable scoundrels Han Solo and Indiana Jones, started his career as an on-set carpenter. That makes him a roguelike deckbuilder.

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. that way, you can sell the second one to fund your journey. follow me for more Revenge Grindset tips and tricks

Quentin Tarantino came on the heels of many great directors before him

*Cyprus hill voice* In Seine from the bus lane

Neon Genesis Ewangelion@ewacat.bsky.social · 3mo ago

STUPENDOUS www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

a ballroom has a core strategic weakness: the man in the back saying “everyone attack”

[wearing clown noses on my fingertips] i feel funny

Quatermass and The Pitt

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

Japanese sci-fi: two robots in space, yearning American sci-fi: man gets the author's beliefs on polygamy confirmed by the aliens of ramalama IV french sci-fi: two horny bounty hunters visit the Galaxy of Breasts British sci-fi: nuclear war. Everyone dead. America's fault

all these universities kept axing medieval history departments as if they thought tyrants beefing with the Pope was going to stop being relevant

feel like as millennials we kept being told that sure, the economy was bad but at least we'd never had to spend any time in a world where it felt like major, global, maybe even nuclear conflict could erupt at any moment and well well well: who's laughing now

nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back early astronaut: Office365 in spaceship nasa employee: what? astronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* Office365 in spaceship

Egyptian pharaohs were often buried with special statues made to hold small stacks of Pringles in case they got hungry during their journey into the afterlife.

Say hello to my little frond

ceo: have we done any animal testing? me as a scientist: yes, sir ceo: and? me: they can’t even spell their own names

This article has lived rent-free in my head for 20 years... theonion.com/franz-ferdin...

every time some tech psycho giddily says unemployment could hit 30% soon I'm like ok man and then what. what happens after that usually. how about I give you fifteen minutes to skim wikipedia and then you can get back to me. its fine i'll wait

broke: lenin was good woke: lenin was evil bespoke: i have heard that on his deathbed lenin received the light of islam and unhesitatingly recited the shahada.

me: So yeah, that's where the documents live and how we look after them. Did you want to see the conservation studio again? the ghost of a Mercian huscarl that lives in our archive: mæg ic habban māre 'Wotsits'?

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

GM: Charisma check. Mamdani: [rolls natural 20] GM: that’s a d6 how did you Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊

xbox live took stronger action against jeffrey epstein than the entire us government

Landfill Collins@uneasylover.bsky.social · 6mo ago

Screenshit

For those wondering what "Batman's Aff His Nut" sounds like in a proper Glaswegian accent, here's Robert Florence, who penned it, reciting it over a Batman teaser...

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

Daniel Benneworth-Gray@danielgray.com · 7mo ago

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

The secret to a happy relationship is a King-Size duvet on a double bed.

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds