Why is Rice Krispies the only breakfast cereal with its own unique sound? It came out decades ago. We should have dozens of noisy cereals by now! Just imagine waking up to a big bowl of Wheat Wailers! Or Honey Nut Hullabaloos! Or how about some Marshmallow Moans?
a backrooms sequel but it’s just me in every room eating soup
Now that I have 6k followers, it’s time to set up operations in Guyana…
People: “We need more business leader outsiders in government.” Result: “The carrier strike group has been central to Trump's military campaign against Iran […] The deployment has stretched far beyond the routine seven-month timeline, with indications it has been extended for a second time.”
HermioneIsHere@hermioneishere.bsky.social · 10h agoTrump/Hegseth are killing our troops. www.rawstory.com/uss-abraham-...
She's been hiding in plain sight this whole time.
if you tell people to call you mama bear we probably can’t be friends
NO SIX LIMBED CREATURES FOR THEM TO EVOLVE FROM [sobbing in dumpster] no six limbed creatures, for them to evolve… from
If you're far from the sea, a phone-throwing pond will do in a pinch.
Attempting to absorb enough sunlight to power my personality for the next six days
I think every city should have one statue with no plaque explaining why it’s there
I’m currently watching my husband fold laundry and I’m trying not to tell him that he’s doing it wrong because I don’t want to sound ungrateful but omfggivemethatfuckingtowel
an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride
Indiana Jones and the Celtic Fibulae: in which Indy spends 6 months excavating a 500 meter area of a field in Wales looking for bronze age fasteners, while simultaneously developing a taste for brown ale at the local pub in the evenings
somebody seems to be trying real hard to get Gurt’s attention
I don’t have a foot fetish and I don’t want to see your feet, but I’ll massage them just for something to do.
Drugs. Alcohol. Cult membership. We cope with the truth about Santa Claus in different ways.
I always assumed that by this point in my life, I'd be ordering guards to seize people more often.