Love is both a particle and a wave.

(lying to myself) i'll just get up earlier tomorrow and do it then

You make one mistake at work and all of a sudden you're "the guy who released the virus”

(the sound of snapping dry kindling when i sit down or stand up) is that good

no one owns the night but you can lease it for the low low price of your eternal soul

I found out lighthouses are automated now. We're really running out of places to be weird hermits

The tram knows where it is going. The passengers never will.

To arrive, stop measuring the distance. Just take the next step down. - Hie Shrine, Nagatacho, Tokyo

What a shame it is to pass by beauty and miss its inelegant backstory.

Sorry, I’ve just been in a weird mood since I was seven years old

Lately I've been getting into listlessly moving back and forth within the enclosure

eat the sky

MORNING NEWS REPORT: We have never seen corruption of this magnitude. AFTERNOON NEWS REPORT: Update. This newly discovered corruption is even more corrupt. EVENING NEWS REPORT: Guess what?

I just want to be as optimistic as the rusting motel sign on the old highway that says COLOR TV

[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is "literal" KID: can you use it in a sentence JUDGE: yes

Sometimes a simple hello is enough to save a life.

i’ve never looked for waldo and i never will

I feel like an issue that would connect well with voters would be doing anything at all to slow the current progression toward "absolutely everything now is a scam"

Your daily affirmation: Like antlers, it's time for you to branch out, become sharper, and get more weathered and beautiful with age.

i don't want 100 person group chats i want the ability to delete one post a day that is not mine

i always thought the expression was "it's a doggy-dog world out there" and was like, that sounds like a great world

A fake rodent is a shamster.

boss, i feel like you’re getting stuck on “everyone got arrested because i got distracted as look out” and missing just how cute the dog was

Something in me wants more. I can't rest. - Sylvia Plath

I really hope you mfs are staying hydrated

i think this is the year i become subterranean

This is a dream right? This seems like a dream. This can’t be real. Are we dreaming together? Is that what’s happening? Is this a dream?

“This really sucks!” I say with a wink and a smile every time someone walks in on me vacuuming with the new vacuum cleaner.

The way I used to feel about partying and drinking games in my past, is how I feel now about naps and being left the fuck alone.