I just wanna be in between this peanut butter and chocolate sandwich
zoblerone
@zoeintheory.bsky.social
she/her, 23, needs to put phone down. @zoeintheory on bird app too 🙄
Spicing things up in the bedroom with a few stalks of celery.
She let me hit coz I use active voice for clarity and directness.
If I don’t make jokes about my feelings, I’ll detonate into a fine emotional mist.
To a fake scientist like me the whole world is ridiculously attractive
Cheating on an exam by memorizing everything the professor taught in advance so I can easily answer all the questions
What if it was never trolling? What if it was always serious? And what if we had treated it that way?
Democrats: How can we go viral? (a pastor goes mega-viral for calling Trump a bigot to his face) Democrats: What if Tim Kaine made a BLT on Instagram Live
The Trump administration’s anti-DEI snitching plan is getting flooded with fake reports after it tried to strong-arm federal workers into ratting out their colleagues.
Trump Wants Snitches to Report on DEI. There’s Just One Problem.
Donald Trump wants people to expose diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts in the federal government. The idea is already flopping.
newrepublic.com
I respect any videogame that tells me the world is ending but lets me go fishing
Dry January has taught me I don’t need to drink. I can go to bed at 8 PM instead.
As soon as I remember the name of the actor I saw in that thing where he played that guy, it’s all over for you people.
If I were a quarterback, once every game I’d pretend to throw the ball, but hide it behind my back and watch everyone run.
You might not do politics, but politics is gonna do YOU 🫵🏾
OKSOTHICK.@sayitaintsoph.bsky.social · 2y agoI’m sorry but I’m screaming at everyone who “don’t do politics” now panicking cause their jobs are now being axed. Damn. Didn’t think it’d be you huh toots?
I’ll end a sentence with a preposition whenever the fuck I feel like it for.
r/baseball: likely banning links to X r/hockey: banned links to X r/NBA: banned links to X, instagram and threads r/NFL: banned links to X, pinned bsky starter packs for all 32 teams i don't think we should blow it out of proportion but hopefully it helps encourage league reporters to come over
Gary Alexander@garyalexander.bsky.social · 2y agoevery subreddit i follow, that has anything like regular activity aside from the occasional meme or complaint to keep the lights on, has banned direct links to X lol
“ALEXA, I am out of Eye of Newt. Can I substitute Eye of Salamander in a recipe to smite my enemies?”
acting like i don't know who my coworker means when they talk about haliey welch because i can tell theyre spelling it hailey
great bit of Area 51 lore is multiple guys claiming to have hung out with an alien named J-Rod
If you’re new here it’s helpful to know that Bluesky has a unique culture centered around lifting up my posts, celebrating all my stuff, and promoting me to your friends and family
Bees will make us honey if we give them a second