Gary Muppet
@garymuppet.bsky.social
Self-proclaimed employee-of-the-month and orange crush Just a Muppet whatnot and whatnot https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xdmrssx67g4mjhhcvqjefavz/feed/aaaknygufbgdu
think I'm gonna buy a Powerball ticket today. Don't know how it works but I got my quarter ready to scratch it off.
Was the Hadestown musical a sequel or prequel to The Odyssey? Either way, Gary’s empty popcorn bucket was a Greek tragedy.
Coffee please must have coffee I am so tired I need coffee hey guys send coffee
This morning, I took a T-shirt from the airer to find one of the biggest spiders I’ve ever encountered hiding in the sleeve.I don’t think you understand the sheer terror that went through me when I realised that I could be the next Spiderman. As if I have time for all of that.
sometimes I wonder if I’m wasting my life but then I open bsky and know that I am
Perpetual construction at the Sky Harbor, where Gary navigates his way to an airport diner for a taste of 72-dollar scrambled eggs.
If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky
Fall
Alt: Possum falling over.
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Gary Muppet@garymuppet.bsky.social · 2d agoIf you see this, quote the energy you bring to BlueSky
If you see this, gif the energy you bring to bluesky
Surreal Creature Transformation
Alt: Surreal four legged plushie with bot bald head that licks your face and you start to melt You are wearing overalls and a horizontal black and white striped shirt
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Gary Muppet@garymuppet.bsky.social · 2d agoIf you see this, quote the energy you bring to BlueSky
If you see this, quote the energy you bring to BlueSky
Antifa Temptress@antifatemptress.bsky.social · 2d agoIf you see this, quote the energy you bring to BlueSky
Not going anywhere fast, except to the Big O Tires, where Gary spends his last day in the desert staring at an out-of-order coffee maker.
Driving past the fields of Correctionville, Iowa. This must be where they grow the reply guys
Losing wasn’t in Gary’s vocabulary, thus giving Death the upper hand in their high-stakes game of Scrabble.
ever notice how when you're away on holiday all your unused screen time gets converted into calories
Just studying poisonous plants for fun like a typical harmless lady would.
Welcome to middle age. You now have a special space between your teeth that can fit an entire meal
When your kid misspells "school" on the fridge calendar, you know it's time.
Don't act like you've never just put air in it again instead of tracing and fixing a slow leak.
I have said, “why did I not know this until my 50s”, a disturbing amount of times like it is scary guys