When the clock struck midnight, she fled down the palace steps, leaving behind only one black sock and camo color Croc.
Paul
@grommit56.bsky.social
Marriage, my dogs, golf, work, Oxford commas, general stupidity. Blue is much more soothing than red. For mediocrity, press the link below bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cwzjygusjn5xjsu47dtcp2tl/feed/aaacbkeptqwsw
It has always been my dream to live alone in a dune shack on the outer Cape and write middling fiction using a typewriter. The waste basket in the corner would be overflowing with balls of crumpled paper and I’d never finish
friend: you know how you can look for something to watch for 90 minutes until you remember that nothing will ever free you from the memory of that time you spent backpacking through europe where you and your friends accidentally killed a vagrant and then dismembered him me: it’s called thursday
“Son of A Preacher Man” is a good soundtrack for life. Driving along a lonesome highway? Son of a preacher man. Eating a wheel of cheese? Son of a preacher man. Having sex with a guy named Billy Ray? Son of a motherfucking preacher man
I really hate dealing with the shirt tuckers at work go maximize synergy over there bro leave me alone
chat what does it mean when your commander asks you if you have any ideas to defeat the enemy
Me: *does the robot* Interviewer: I meant skills related to the job.
Vibe shifted with my doctor when I said I was up to 2 packs a day. Only got worse when he found out I meant hotdogs
The paperboy made fun of my James Garner body pillow again
Leave it to TikTok to make me relive childhood trauma. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8njVvCN/
#genx #retrocommercial #nostalgia #1970s Who remembers this commercial for Fig Newtons? The Jingle sticks with you.
TikTok video by Gen X Hangout
tiktok.com
It bugs the fuck out of me that cannibal and humanitarian don't mean the same thing.
i am not a cruise person but recently saw one that sails down the nile and holy shit i think that could fix whatever is deeply wrong with me
Buc-ee's is suing a local mini Mart in Beavercreek,Ohio for trademark infringement. The only similarity being that it is the same animal. Apparently they feel they own the beaver and all uses of it. I should probably word that differently but screw it.
Who decided to call it a “one night stand” and not a “stranger with benefits”
Had a different dental hygienist, & no one said a peep. They didn’t say “oh sorry, so & so isn’t here today” or “they moved” or whatevs. Since everyone was being so mysterious, I decided I wasn’t gonna ask questions. For all I knew, they had her buried behind the back parking lot.
A cool thing to say before someone shoots you would be "those bullets better be silver, playboy"
Sorry. *shrug* I would, but on Monday night I dance naked under the worm moon to invoke an ancient curse on anyone who asks if I can do one more thing if I have time.
reminder that your all your bedsheets are potential ghosts
A small group of people I knew in my high school years have a yearly reunion in honor of a friend we lost. I’m walking in pretty confident this year because I got my whole appendix story to tell.
the average american streams eight spider-man movies in their sleep each year
instant gratification isn’t enough. gratification should anticipate what i want
Just checked with everyone you know and no one is mad at you
So Jude Law is doing commercials for some AI company. I can live with that. If it was Keanu Reeves I would be very, very concerned.
is the bigger version a strawberry tallcake or a strawberry longcake
A lot of us know when to walk away, just not enough of us.