Native Minnow
@nativeminnow.bsky.social
A doctor, but not the important kind. Bill Clinton lookalike, but not the important kind.
[friend] omg youve lost so much weight whats your secret [me] haha thank you groceries cost twice as much now
I enjoy watching all the robots trip and fall and die and explode and die more. Society did this to me.
I’ve been trying to lose weight since May, so I guess it’s as good a time as any, for me personally, to not be able to eat a single thing from the supermarket without subsequent illness.
You'd think if a medical doctor with a medical degree said "Your minor pediatric child who is again a child cannot hear so we would like to offer them hearing aids" then what any health insurer would then say is "Ok we will cover that because ears are not optional body parts" BUT GUESS FUCKIN WHAT
People often ask me where I find the time to write as a husband, father, and winter caretaker of a haunted hotel.
sometimes my dog gives me this look like “have you been drinking?” usually when I have been drinking
Well, Mr. Bond, you'll find I've slipped three blueberries in your drink. Soon you'll feel their effects and I'll be able to carry out my nefarious plans unhindered MWAHAHAHAHAAAA
I, too, have been struggling with financial independence from the Royal Family
My niece just called me Generation Caveman... WE INVENTED THE INTERNET YOU ILLITERATE!
I’m finally getting around to watching True Detective Season 3 and it’s not easy watching my past (living poor in the ‘80s: unhappy marriage) and future (dementia) collide.
Proud of myself that I tossed a sturdy plastic packet into the recycling bin instead of inducting it into the hallowed Bag of Bags. Baby steps.
back in my day it was pretty obvious what kind of politician was afraid of the free press
“Your Majesty, I humbly request permission to keep the chicken…for personal reasons.” - 13th/14th century, BnF Français 372, f. 25r
Last night I took the dog out into the yard, and there was a bear. Tonight, the dog insisted on going out in the yard to look for bears. I guess we have a new routine.
Today I will be hosting a book sale until the librarians notice
Nobody blessed me – least of all god – when I scream-sneezed with a mouthful of Grape-Nuts. It was like the final scene in Bonnie and Clyde
They should invent a technology that allows me to watch my dog’s dreams
I was considering doing something today that would have required me to get up at 3:30 am, but accidentally stayed up too late. [Getting ready for bed.] GF: So, are you going tomorrow? Me: I’ll let The Gods decide. I’m not setting an alarm.
If all goes well we'll be able to eat food again in two years.
Trying to dig a hole in my soup but the hole keeps repairing itself somehow?
I lied. There’s no sex. Get dressed, we have to find the Ark of the Covenant