Taking my crocs out of sport mode so nobody gets pregnant
Jo 🦇🕸🕷
@notquiteadelight.bsky.social
It's probably ̶P̶e̶r̶i̶m̶e̶n̶o̶p̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶ that I'm tired of this shit.
My friend sent this picture. Enjoy.
The other day I got home from all errands & after-school activities. My husband said: "We have 3 kids" Oh, ok, I forget 1 thing and you make a big deal out of it!
The grass is greener on the other side cuz that's where the septic tank is.
I cut someone out of my life once for judging my Taco Bell sauce packet drawer in my kitchen.
If I spend the entire Halloween party underneath a white sheet don’t assume I’m a ghost, I’m just avoiding conversations.
They should invent a fingernail that can’t bend backwards
While at a family gathering, everyone was sharing weird stories about their lives. I told them about all of you.
*takes a drag off my candy cigarette and tells the neighborhood kids…yeah we didn’t have water bottles and had to actually pedal a bike
I thought of some things I wanted to tell you, but then I lit myself on fire instead.
I don't drink but I feel hungover from the absolute trauma of socializing with people who can't have a conversation
People say things like “just relax, be yourself” like which one do you want