Do they even think about the people they spew hate about when they pray over their food to “bless the hands who made it”

Just sayin’

Getting ready for my run and thinking maybe I should just clean. That’s how much I don’t wanna do this.

You mean to tell me we're on a whole different month? When did that happen!?

Dueling rappers choose lyricals at dawn.

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜@unfitz.bsky.social · 2d ago

Dueling weightlifters choose pectorals at dawn.

me, eating lunch: i can’t believe this is what it’s like to have a working brain

a backrooms sequel but it’s just me in every room eating soup

I'm gonna turn the music up in hopes of drowning out my thoughts

A very small bear but… good morning! 🩷

Not a friend, not a bsky crush, but a secret shitposter thing.

Fuck it, Halloween starts right now and runs through February 15th. You're welcome.

You can be anything you want to be, so be annoying.

There’s a calming effect that comes with just being a good person 🌺🌷🌻

these are the lies of our days

printing out your skeets and crumpling them into a ball for a three-pointer.

please stop replying “skill issue” on all my posts

*trying to set your house on fire after you said you didn't want to go out with me* Me: Omg I'm SUCH a scorpio! Lmao Cop: just put your hands on your head and turn around

My blood type is cheese

give a man a fish and he'll look at you suspiciously and ask what happened to the chips

Clickbait clickbait How merry are we… Looking at your devious Ridiculously written AI headlines? You fool me A million times Make me read halfway through & once I find out I’ve been had & fooled I will laugh at myself For falling for you & your trickery too… Sung to the tune of “Inchworm”

Me: Every quick errand somehow becomes an expensive side quest The cashier: maam I asked if you wanted paper or plastic

do people who would give you the shirt off their back know how shirts work?

have you taken your meds have you yelled fuck at least 10x have you made a totem to appease the elder gods

🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 @jimstewart.bsky.social @garyreniker.com

Threw my back out reaching for the cereal. Just let me die already.

It has always been my dream to live alone in a dune shack on the outer Cape and write middling fiction using a typewriter. The waste basket in the corner would be overflowing with balls of crumpled paper and I’d never finish

My dad was so pissed when I chose hockey over figure skating.

I'm really impressed you can still bend over with a stick that far up your ass.

Choosing the wrong late night snack could ruin your next day

There were a few financial upsides by not hiring lifeguards at the town pool this summer although there have been some drownsides.