*seductively falls apart

Tell someone you love them today. Tell them you love their hat. Tell them you love how they don’t care about the basil in their teeth. Tell em

You guys. Please.

Ashley Holden 🩷 M.Ed.@mrsholden2019.bsky.social · 2mo ago

If you see this please read my update below and repost it for me. #Cancer doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care that you're young. It doesn't care that you're a mom, wife, teacher. But... cancer has also underestimated me. I'm a fighter. Can you help me in this fight? ❤️ #Melanoma #Stage4 #StageIV

if i got rabies i would use it to help people

Some of you aren't Down With The Sickness and it really shows.

🎵 Imagine all the people...🎶 *projectile vomits*

The book I authored, "Hating Your Friends, Hating Your Neighbours," begins on page 3 with the Table of Contempts.

But this bullshit isn't sustainable, Your Honor

i’m like if a baby became an adult

[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is "redacted" KID: ████████ JUDGE: correct

the cool side of my pillow is telling me to do drugs

thighs are the windows to the hole

Just imagine a world where Christians conducted themselves more like Saint Dolly...

for whom the cuterie chars

still the best to do it

Pop Crave@popcrave.com · 3d ago

Addison Rae stuns in new photo.

*reads the tea leaves in your mug* hmm, it says here you don't know how to rinse out your goddamn dishes

Monosyllabic has some nerve.

"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped

Teens are hiding in snow banks and devouring wandering travelers. They call it yetimaxxing and parents are up in arms over this dangerous new trend.

I don't have an embarrassment of riches but you can count on me for a richness of embarrassments.

Did you know that there are actually a bunch more verses of Jolene that Dolly cut for time? There’s a whole bit where we learn Jolene has a massive TV and an amazing DVD collection and also a Criterion subscription.

🧨🧨🧨💥🔥

Acid Rain@bearysweet.bsky.social · 3d ago

Remembering Sister Rosetta Tharpe, born in 1915 in Cotton Plant, Arkansas. Here she's performing "Didn't It Rain" at a train depot in Manchester, England in 1964. She's often called the "Godmother of Rock & Roll" and influenced future music icons like Chuck Berry, Little Richard and Elvis Presley.

*at Olive Garden* hi, these breadsticks have ends

September. Or, to spell it correctly, harbinger of darkness until May.

Does anybody know what became of Charles (Chuckles) Downer, CPA from the other place?

[first day as sliced bread] wow this is the best thing since I was born yesterday

people are already annoying me tomorrow

I farted while giving my glucose meter blood, and it summoned a demon.

reverse cow girl because idk how to put a cow into neutral

Dog: I believe it’s feed me o’clock Me: You don't know how to tell time Dog: I also can’t talk, yet here we are Me: Dog: Me: Touché