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When MAGA sends its candidates, they're not sending the best. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

[opening browser] let’s find some things to worry about

That’s cute, and by cute I mean dumb.

True friends are the ones who never call and for dang sure never come over.

I wore a cardigan for the first day of fall and I’m sweating like a plaid shirted influencer at a California pumpkin patch.

If you look closely you can spot little tears and open seams in the fabric of space-time where you can toss an old banana peel or unpaid bill.

Sometimes feel like I don't really have imposter syndrome

Finally leaving a group chat like Tim Robbins emerging from the Shawshank sewer pipe.

We should be allowed at least 5 days off to focus on watchlists

i was just following my dreams, your honor

Started a painting of Billy Idol in the style of Monet Monet

*playing the tuba outside your window at 3am I just wanted you to know that everyone thinks you’re kind of a cunt.

My doctor asked me if I could have injured my calf at the gym and I said there's absolutely no chance of that.

Waking up to Ed Sheeran being hated by millions is perfectly normal in my world.

yes please

Bernie Sanders Reintroduces Bill to Make 32-Hour Workweek New Federal Standard

“A 32-hour workweek is not a radical idea,” Senator Sanders said.

truthout.org

I purchased a flutter sleeve leopard print blouse which, like myself, manages to be both cool and frumpy all at once. 

I told my boss it would have been nice to get a "thank you" after putting in an 11 hour day. She said "how would I know you needed to hear that unless you tell me?". You can't make this shit up.

This day in history. 878. Pope John VIII crowned Louis the Stammerer as king of West Francia the day after this day when Louis finished repeating the oath.

-Mama said there’d be days like these. -Lol, your mom’s a bitch.

Sorry you got turned on watching me eat a hot dog.

Follow Friday Frovo Format Feeds: Math Cop: tinyurl.com/math-cop Pun Cop: tinyurl.com/PunCop Spelling Bee: tinyurl.com/SplgBee Driving Lessons: tinyurl.com/DrvLsns OnomotoSeeias: tinyurl.com/onomotos

Sorry I'm late. I've been watching live court feeds of the Lindsay Clancy trial.

This car cost me an arm and a leg. I can't really drive it now.

Pro Tip; It’s OK to be stupid and NOT pursue leadership roles.

Hey baby are you my password because I’m going to forget you in a week

They’re gonna have to poison the pop tarts and potato chips to get to me

Instead of getting a greenhouse and growing my food I will just die

Donald J Trump 🖕